Wednesday, 05 November 2008
-
Currently Listening
Where Do I Fit In?
By Anne Minnery
see relatedWhatcha Waiting For?
Me! Me! Me! That was it. Years ago, I was so self involved that I just didn't have the time for others. 'Others' meaning people I didn't know. I'd show up to volunteer or work or be part of some gathering and I'd keep to myself rather than join in the community that was happening around me. You know what I mean right? Being part of it. Adding myself into the mix. No... I was mostly just observing it. I was a very social person, but very selective about who I shared my time and thoughts.
After I had Baby Dude, now Teen Dude, we'd go to the park and I'd just play with him. I was an older mom so I could be ignored pretty easily. When he was Little Dude, I'd go to his ball games and just sit to the side not speaking to other parents or only speaking to the one's whom I had a "history". I kept my world much smaller back then. I felt I was on overload with my 'plate of life' full enough and I didn't see a way of adding any more people to that plate. I also wasn't sure I'd fit in to their way of looking at things. I wasn't sure I wanted to know how they saw things. I was more comfortable being a shadow on the wall. You're there, but no one really cares.
Well...a good thing happened on my way to better worldly spirit. I stopped wanting to get it over with and thinking I didn't fit in. I stopped thinking about fitting in all together.
Now I introduce myself to an unfamiliar face and many times a familiar face that in the past I've only nodded to in passing. I make contact with people more and more. I want to hear what they're thinking and I let them know what's on my mind. (As some of you well know, I have a lot on my mind most of the time so it's a good thing to share it.) I stopped wondering if they'd understand my individuality.
I find I look forward to sharing other's perspective on life as they know it. We all come with our 'stories' that have directed our choices along the path of life. I don't want to avoid those stories. I want to know those stories. I have found in doing this that there is always some common thread that we can share. When I show interest, ask questions, then listen, people sometimes tell me what's deeper in their thoughts. I find myself having conversations where people say "I never thought of it that way." I love those conversations. I also introduce these people to people I know in order to make the circle larger.
I finally figured it out. If you can do it - If you can contribute positive energy when people gather then you build a bridge of understanding. Not everyone can and you might be the balance in that situation. You might be the one in that group that can show an example of reaching out to others. As I've said before, I hope it's contagious.
If you can shake off the moment of unknown outcome, you're on your way. Introduce yourself. Ask questions. Find a common thread. Smile a bit more when your out among the masses. It's all part of being the blessing.
Oh yeah. How did I get off overload? What changed in me in order for this to happen? I surrendered to the process. My 'plate of life' grew and I found that I could hold it.
-
recommend
- recs 6
-
share
-
email
- sent 0
Post a Comment
- Back to Jaynebug's Xanga Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in Jaynebug's local time zone: GMT -08:00 (Pacific Standard - US, Canada)
Comments (35)
Very wise words. Unfortunately many people fail to realize this and continue to shut themselves off from the world. Here in New York it is very "me" oriented. That's why I like to go to things like the parade where people let their guards down for a little while and just enjoy life. It's a real nice change of pace.
have you ever noticed how everyone is dying to talk about themselves? so we never let each other talk. it's pretty interesting to just stop talking about myself and see what happens when the other person gets that chance to talk. most of the time they don't think to ask me any questions (especially men), but sometimes i get a really good friend out of it.
foraging feels better than anything i know how to do. picking something up off the ground or out of a tree or bush and eating it always makes me feel better. good luck in your hunts too!
Okay, I like this in principle.
But it would REALLY cut into my beer time. Personally I think that is asking too much.
A really good post for other people though!
@vanedave - Dave I'm pretty sure that you are a gem in the crowd. Keep up your positive force of energy in your corner. I'm sure you have and will continue to see the results of your efforts.
@ten_toes_fabulous - I have seen just that. I have also seen that when one person makes an effort to ask and care that it lights something up in another. Maybe it's that thread of connection in us all that just needed a jump start to remind that it's there.
@Bricker59 - Hey. I bet you could talk to people while waiting in the beer line. Ask them what brew they like and break the ice.That's not too hard huh? haha
What if you're someone who avoids talking to too many people you don't know because you are often awkward or stick your foot in your mouth?
People I know already know my nature and will forgive me. lol
@honeybises - Others will too and will probably relate. The more you do it. The better you get. Hey, maybe you'll get to laughing about it. That's an amazing vibration to put out there.
You're so dead on -- as always!
Amazing how the "power of one" can indeed ignite a positive force that could potentially become contagious.
Now Brick needs to deliver each of us ONE keg
This is exactly what I feel like doing. Priceless tips on how to just let go and "be the blessing." There's a book called "Blessed Unrest" by Paul Hawken that is about the bigger picture of how this little stuff (connecting with others) is making a big difference, but I was still wrestling with how to apply it in my own life. I will hitch a ride on your wisdom
I linked to you over here on a post that I put in a day or two ago-- (actually, I reproduced the whole thing, and highlighted parts, hope you don't mind?) because you really answered a lot of my questions. Maybe I was asking you? There are plenty of good ideas out there, but few people have the determination to make them happen. You are one of the few, and thanks for showing me HOW to do it!
You know, being raised by parents who firmly believed it was their job (and therefore mine) to make a difference was the greatest blessing of my life. Reaching out to others is a big part of that.
Awesome post. One that really hits home for me.
How did I not find your blog earlier?
I love the way you've articulated this. It is something I try to do ... even a casual comment can lead to some of the most amazing conversations. People will tell me the darnedest things.
I love widening my world.
Nice! I've always been this way, so it wasn't something I had to overcome or try hard at; but I know it is for others. And, I, like you, have found that in general people have far more in common than they do that divides. Unfortunately, too many folks focus on the divisions when it's the commonalities that bring us together and make for a better world.
Bravo! Well done and well said.
Wow. This is amazing!!!
terrific post ...
I was taught to NOT talk about myself at all ... to focus on the other person ... so I had to "get out there" and create my own persona & find my own self-confidence (took a long time) ... and now i develop the balance between making myself visible and "seeing" new people ...
simply wonderful post, i love when wise people reccommend wise posts..i'm happy for you,this place we walk on needs one who knows the awesome power of smiling in the masses, we are blessed to have such articulate and eloquent and yes brave souls in this xangy world.. cheers, as you carry peace within .
I agree, even though i've always been very slow at "opening up" i think maybe because i think i wont come up to other peoples expectations, more and more though i'm presenting myself "as seen" and it works! remember also i'm working in two languages that are not my own, i lost count of how many people i must have offended
geez Lyne, if you have anything you'd like to say, just come out and say it, you don't have to be so shy here among Xa fiends
@five11nation - Thank you DC. Let's get it on everyone we can.
@runaheadofme - Thank you for truely hearing.
@MlleRobillard - I like that in you Jess.
@MooncatBlue - Thank you Blue.
@CanadianBroad - Thank you. Glad we finally met. I'll be over to visit later. This has been a busy day.
@Shirlann - Thank you. I don't do division anymore.
@LAURAxLOU - Thank you for reading and the rec. Come on by anytime.
@menskeet - I relate and have enjoyed being on the other side of the mountain with balance like a meadow before me.
@jstickmann - Thank you. Glad we are connecting here and beyond.
@Timages - To be where you are connecting in a foreign language...I bow to your effort. Keep up the wonder in your corner of the world.
@llibra - Xa fiends? Love it! I love being able to express myself here. Therapy and connection all in one. haha
I wish I could be more like you. I am always worried that I don't fit in. I think I am too self-comscious.
It si so much easier when we just surrender and let it all go and go with the flow. Life is good and so are most people.
@icepearlz - Every day is a fresh new chapter to make choices that lead to a better us.
@stixandstonz - I love your attitude, but you knew that right?
listening is a gift...one I have to fight to do and hold my tongue much of the time..so I can truly listen...
Oh yes, you found it. You learn to "let go" an say "no." Kudos to you: listening is a gift that most of us in these busy days
You learned to apply the Einstein theory of "irrelitivity" (spell it your self")
The human mind begins to lose it's faculties after age 40.
"Mind over Matter: If you don't mind, it don't matter." He didn't really say that, I did, but it sounded just like him don't you think?
Ray Charles, one of my favorite musicians also said:
"Now that I have just a little age on me, I let most things just float on by"
Uncle jim