Thursday, 25 June 2009

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  Point of View

    How's your point of view lately?  Have you found it belongs to you and you alone, or do you share it with others?  I was having a conversation with Teen Dude about how his summer was going.  He is 16 and full of teen.  It's fun and not fun for the entire family, but I think that's what 16 is all about.  Now, I'm a lucky mom in the fact that Teen Dude is willing to talk to me.  I find he doesn't walk up and throw down his higher forms of thought unless I ask, and at times tease him into conversation, but that's another part of the equation as the mother of a 16 year old.  How to stay connected.

     I started talking about life and getting along with people as soon as we hit the sandbox when he was "Baby Dude," and we've been on the "add as we go" ever since that day.  Meanwhile, back at our conversation, he was sharing with me the dramas of the people in his circle and his response to them.  He has a pretty accepting view of people.  He sees a bit deeper and cuts people some slack, but then he also has an inner wisdom that helps him cut through some of the BS.  I asked him if he was trying to fix any of them.  He thought for a moment or two and said he could see it all as these dramas came up, and the others in the drama were only seeing their side. Their point of view.

   

     This is where, as a parent it gets a bit tricky.  I can tell you that I see another picture completely and some of you parents or individuals willing to see this point of view can agree.  I could tell him what to do, but I don't.  I get him thinking about what he's going to do.  He's on his way to adulthood.  Time to get the training into practice, so I told him my own story.  I told him about how I saw the dramas in my past, and how I thought I could make everyone "get it" and guess what?  They didn't.  It was their drama.  I asked him where he saw each of these people in 10 years.  Do you think they'll still be in all the drama of every situation or will they be more experienced in being part of relationships?  I asked him if he saw himself hanging out with these people in 5 maybe 10 years.  Which of them will he still know?  How do you feel when you're around them?

     Teen Dude had some good answers and my questions brought out his questions and there we found our place for conversation and sharing our points of view.  He asked me how I dealt with other people's drama's. He asked me how did I know when I'd said enough. I just had an encounter the day before that was the perfect example. Funny how that happens. 

     I was returning movies to our local video store.  The store wasn't open yet and there was a man holding a movie and rattling the door as I walked up.  I smiled at him, said good morning, opened the drop slot, and slid my movies in.  He walked toward me asking me if that was where to return movies.  I told him it was indeed and he hesitated, then turned back to the door.  He then asked if I was sure they got checked in right if put through the slot. I smiled and told him I was willing to trust the process.  I also told him that the store opened at 10am and it was only 9:15.  Then I walked away.  As I turned out of the parking area, the man was back at the door rattling it again. Teen Dude smiled in understanding when I reached this part. 

     There's one for the expression, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink."

      I think we see eye to eye on this one.  I think he's on his way to dealing with his teen friendships.  Good old point of view.  How do you see it?

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