Jaynebug's Xanga

The Future is Now

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 16:57:17 GMT

If time's future is the next moment...Who are "The People" of the future? So...whose job is it to rescue us?

I'm hoppin' a train, yeah...Ridin' the rail today. I'll be on the train heading north for about 8 hours. The view out the window always provides me some perspective to spin around in my mind. The backside of towns, where life tells it's story if your willing to see it. Where people still wave as you roll on by. Where the "other side of the tracks" brings a whole new understanding to my thoughts about people. My train rides have always been an interesting experience. "All Aboard!"

Song of Spirit

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 20:22:04 GMT

A friend asked me if I'd work a party at a glorious old home up above the town of Avila Beach. I said yes, instantly. I wanted the perspective of the view from up top, and in all my 32 years in and around town, I'd never been there. I was not disappointed.

This is the town where the water wars played themselves out several years in a row. At one time, I worked four jobs that took me to both ends, the middle and the outskirts. The people, places and ocean environment shaped me as a person in many ways. As I looked down from the top, my mind flashed on bits of moments and memories that an entire town added to my life.

I get a grin on my face remembering our "reclaim the beach" parties when the tourist went home after summer. Music and food and the laughter, oh that fabulous "let it all go" laughter. We'd start planning our winter activities then and there. One of them was the annual Christmas caroling. We'd get together a group that could carry a tune, then in early December we'd practice once or twice a week. We'd look for a tune that wasn't a standard Christmas song, pick one, learn it, then add it to our choices for the year.

On the night of our caroling, we'd gather early, have dinner, then wrapping up if it was under 50 degrees (flip flops were still the official shoe of Avila Beach), and make our way around town. We'd sing through the restaurants and the two bars in town, then head down the street to sing to the locals. We'd get invited in and the party would continue, adding people to our group as we traveled. The "more the merrier" was our motto. At the end of town, (top of the picture), was a hill that we called cardiac hill on that night. We'd huff and puff up that hill as we sang, and giggled as we'd try to get our breath control back. We wished everyone we saw a Merry Christmas. Back at the bottom of the hill, we'd make our way through town for one more round that ended at the bar and community gathering spot. The local musicians would pull out guitars and we'd sing until our voices begged to be put to bed. We'd leave full to the brim of spirit and fine cheer.

I see all the imprints of us in my head as I look down from up there, on top of the hill. I see us singing and laughing on the beach, greeting each other on the streets, making plans to gather and spread good cheer. Most of us moved on or out of town. One of us was lost to the sea. We always knew it wasn't forever. Life just isn't that way. For me though, I carry this song of spirit in my heart and the music will play there forever.

Nature's Call

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 20:05:55 GMT

My mother lives where deer and turkey roam free. Many of her neighbors have gates and fences to keep the deer out, but my mom has provided them with new sprouts from her rose bushes and she's just fine with that. She said now, at eighty eight, she'd be the one stuck in her yard behind a gate as it's hard to get the darn things open.

When I was up visiting her I stepped outside to get a breath of night air and the biggest buck I've ever seen was crossing the street. My camera was inside, so I just watched in silent awe as the big fellow made his way down the sidewalk. As he reached the street crossing I had to stifle my amusement because he stayed right in the crosswalk to reach the other side. Nature has a way of adapting.

The next day, Mom and I took a walk around her complex. The leaves were so pretty scattered across the walk way. The moisture from the early morning had wet the rocks along the sidewalk, so I stopped to play with leaves and such. I still find great joy in throwing leaves up and letting them fall as they may.

We came round the side of the complex and a family of turkey were roaming the hillside. One stopped for me to snap his photo. A group of folks who had been following the turkey, came up whispering to me and asked if I'd been able to get a picture. "Sure," I replied. I showed the man my picture and he shook his head. He told me that he had been trying to get that very shot, but the turkey wouldn't stop. "Did you approach smacking your lips together?" I asked. "See, I'm a vegetarian, so he didn't feel the "I want to eat you" vibe." We all chuckled, then wished each other a good day and moved on.

Isn't it interesting that while animals in nature don't want to hang out with us, they sure bring us together more often than not as we admire them. My son, Teen Dude has a way with animals in the wild. Some do want to hang out with him apparently. Butterflies land on him, and deer will come and gather around him. I've seen it happen many times during his young life. I'll never forget the time we went camping and he was out in a clearing. I went to get him for breakfast and there he was surrounded by about ten deer. They were silently grazing and would look at him like he was one of them. He walked out of there and they didn't flinch or bolt. They looked at him as he passed and went right back to grazing. Things like this amaze me. They remind me that we still have so much to learn about nature and it's family of animals, including us. Have a wonderful rest of your day!

Wet and Cold With Warm Thoughts

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 16:54:36 GMT

Yesterday, here on the coast of California we had to remind ourselves where we put our rainboots. We only wear them for short periods of time and they tend to get out grown before out worn. I had a fun (NOT) tutorial, once again among the driving population. We just can't seem to get the "rain driving" down as we see it so rarely around here. People braking too hard or driving too fast, and young drivers forgetting how to push the accelerator as the drops of rain distract them. Finding the balance after such an absence sends us all back to the learning curve. It repeats itself yearly.

After the much needed rainfall of yesterday, we all went searching for our warm hats, gloves and scarfs as the temps dipped WAY down over night. The dusting on roofs and frozen puddles will be gone by ten, but us whimpy coastal dwellers (okay not all of you are whimpy) (they made me write that) (they're still whimpy..shhhh), Searched our memories in order to find which drawer we stuffed our "cold wear." Then we had to remember how to put the darn things on. "Let's see. You spread your fingers out, then place them in the five separate holes." (toothy grin) The scarf thing is fine as all us whimps have to do is wrap it round our necks. No holes involved. (Did I say whimps again?)

My favorite all time Christmas song is the Secret of Christmas. I think I may have posted it last year, but it's always good to have the lyrics available and the song of it's message in your heart. Sing along, if the mood moves you. (clears throat, twice) (winks at sister, "Bear")

The Secret of Christmas

It's not the glow you feel when snow appears.

It's not the Christmas cards you've sent for years.

Not the joyful sound of sleigh bells ringing.

Or the merry Christmas songs children sing.

The little gift you send on Christmas day.

WIll not bring back the friend you've turned away.

So may I suggest the secret of Christmas.

Is not the things you do at Christmas time.

It's the Christmas things you do.

All year through.

(pats heart and points to you)

Season's Greetings

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 04:21:28 GMT

I just love it when the holiday season comes around. More people jump on the "friendly" bandwagon. We are more willing to speak to strangers in December. We greet each other with "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays" as we come and go. I suppose the words roll off our tongues easier and more comfortably. Gives us an excuse to reach out to those we don't know when we share the season of love and joy.

I'm one of those friendly folks all year. I smile to myself when I say "Good morning" to a stranger in passing. I like how they respond with a startled "Oh good morning." They look at me like I'm familiar, then as they pass by me, they realize that they don't know me at all and give me a second look with a big question mark in their eyes. Sizing me up maybe, to figure out why I would greet them or decide if I'm a loony tuney. In December, I'm not considered strange at all. In fact I can work it right up through New Years day and get a clear, happy smile and response. January 2nd? Back to the questioning look from many folk. It doesn't stop me though.

Tis the season to consider where we find our spirit. Mine is not found in shopping malls. It does not hang out with commercialism. It does not rest on a certain present under the tree. Nope! My spirit is more in the music and the message of the season. I love the idea that the birth of a babe so long ago brought great hope to a world. Could be why I greet new born babies with the same wonder and welcoming. We all have that spark inside. We all can be an answer to a tired or weary moment with our positive spirit mixed in to bring a uplifting energy into the circle. I guess that's who I'm greeting all year through. The child that lives within us forever.

I took these photos at a friend's home, who I reconnected with this year. She has love, and spirit, and creativity inside her that she's willing to share. She's fun and open minded toward all whom she meets. She speaks to strangers too. She may just be the best gift to me this year. The weekly photo challenge is going to last through December. Join the fun or check it out and enjoy the visuals. Thanks to PhotoGraphics for suggesting it.

A Quiet Thought

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 20:23:57 GMT

In a park full of sycamore trees, the silence is healing. On weekdays the park stands empty. It's on a road away from town. Folks have weekend bbq's, birthday parties, wedding receptions, funeral receptions and reunions there. The two playgrounds at each end are filled with laughter, happy screams of joy, and children's squabbles. One end has a downed tree that sits at the edge of that playground. Children romp from the old tree at nature's edge into the playground to run down the slide, or soar through the air on a swing, then back to the tree. "King of the Tree." They challenge each other or use their imaginations to let it become a fort or an entire kingdom. Good old tree.

Today the park is quiet though. The downed tree is available to a lone thinker. I have sat on this tree at the edge of the park and thought my thoughts many times. I have listened to the wind blowing through the sycamores. I've closed my eyes, faced the warming sun, and let the colors that come to mind drift peacefully by. I've worked through a few problems right there in the crook of the tree where it ends. I've made some choices, hummed some songs, and listened to a friend's sadness pouring out while sitting on this tree. I've stood with my back against it as I received a passionate kiss. Maybe two. I've held the small hands of my children as they gave the tree a try. To scoot up on knees, clinched at first, then each time more balance, until at last they stand laughing with joy at the top. "I made it!" Good old tree.

Maybe we all need a place in nature. To release the build up from life and take in the gifts it offers at the same time. Such a packaged deal, it is indeed. Good old tree.

Mental Notes

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:56:20 GMT

I came home a bit saddened over lost relationships. Words never spoken. Tears never shed. Emotions never discussed. My perspective is filled with a new "age" understanding. My mental notes have many entries after this trip to see my mother. Some of which include the following:

1. Love is something that needs to be shown through words, actions, and participation.

2. Vision loss is a scary thing. Adding wheels, like with a walker takes it to a whole new level.

3. What you wish for in relationships with people will not change unless a change is actually made.

4. That change most likely will have to come from you.

5. Be willing.

6. Write a note to your older self and have someone read it to you when you can't see anymore.

7. This note should have word of self support and also remind you it's okay to ask for help.

8. When someone asks you what they can do for you. Tell them. Mind readers are few and far between.

9. Keeping a sense of humor goes a long way. DO NOT LOSE YOURS.

10. Pride ruins relationships.

11. Listening is a skill that should be practiced until you get it right.

12. Talking TO people over talking AT people should also be practiced daily.

13. If you want your family in your life, do not wait for them to show up. Go to them.

14. Trust issues? Figure it out.

15. If all else fails refer to number 1.

Lingering

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 06:36:00 GMT

This last rose is for you. Fall's kiss of color and grace to fill your vision. To offer the idea of possibilities achieved, and those yet to come into view. To invite a thankful heart to stay and linger for one more moment. To listen to the whispers in nature that remind us to renew and restore. It's all there. Waiting to be discovered. Waiting to be received. This last rose is for you.

The Heart is Willing

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 05:23:52 GMT

Before I hit the road, I invite you to join me under my umbrella. I know I'm not going to return the same person who's leaving as that just doesn't seem possible. This trip up north will change me.

They say you can't go home again, I say you can, but you'll not be the same when you leave. The King and I use to tease each other about turning into our mother's children again when we visited our parents. It took many years for me to finally have an adult relationship with my mother, but thankfully for the most part I do now. That does not mean that I don't check in with myself before I reach the door. I'll remind myself that this is the woman who brought me into this world and who guided my life in many ways. I'll remind myself that I love her even when she drives me crazy. I'll remind myself that my time will come one day and a open heart would be appreciated if I was in her place. I want to share this thanks from my heart as we spend the week together. I know there will be a few uncomfortable moments as we have some needed conversations. I know there will be tears. I don't know if they'll be in front of each other or privately. Most likely both.

My family will be without me this Thanksgiving. The boys are okay with it, but Miss A is quite upset. I held her and she cried, telling me she wanted to go too. I then explained that her Gram needs a quieter celebration this year. She has prepared some art and notes for me to deliver to Gram. One of them talks about her not wanting my mother to die. I cried when I read it. I feel torn about giving it to my mother, but I'm pretty sure I should. I would want to know that my grand daughter doesn't want me to die. There's a deep message of love right there. Leave it to an eight year old to say what needs to be said to an eighty eight year old. I think I want to tell her I understand that she's ready to die, but I don't want her to go.

I want to express my thankfulness for all the kindness that comes from this land of the Xangans. The supportive friendships, encouraging words, warm hearted fun, and silly, teasing comments we make to each other are a blessing for the soul. In my busy world, it has helped me as a writer and a person in many wondrous ways. Thank you.

I'm not sure about next week at all. How I will handle all that is ahead is a mystery, but I am sure that my heart is willing to take what comes, no matter what happens. My heart is willing. (pats heart and points to all of you)

Project Me

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:00:59 GMT

I look into

the mirror

eye to eye with me

The woman who

I gaze upon

has changed again

I see

It could be

the adventure

of finding

who I am

The woman who

saw yesterday

sees it

quite differently

The weekly photo challenge: Project In The Works was suggested by PhotoGraphics. Join in or check it out.