Before I hit the road, I invite you to join me under my umbrella.  I know I'm not going to return the same person who's leaving as that just doesn't seem possible.  This trip up north will change me. 

   They say you can't go home again, I say you can, but you'll not be the same when you leave.   The King and I use to tease each other about turning into our mother's children again when we visited our parents.  It took many years for me to finally have an adult relationship with my mother, but thankfully for the most part I do now.  That does not mean that I don't check in with myself before I reach the door.  I'll remind myself that this is the woman who brought me into this world and who guided my life in many ways.  I'll remind myself that I love her even when she drives me crazy.  I'll remind myself that my time will come one day and a open heart would be appreciated if I was in her place.  I want to share this thanks from my heart as we spend the week together.  I know there will be a few uncomfortable moments as we have some needed conversations.  I know there will be tears.  I don't know if they'll be in front of each other or privately.  Most likely both.

   My family will be without me this Thanksgiving.  The boys are okay with it, but Miss A is quite upset.  I held her and she cried, telling me she wanted to go too. I then explained that her Gram needs a quieter celebration this year. She has prepared some art and notes for me to deliver to Gram.  One of them talks about her not wanting my mother to die.  I cried when I read it.  I feel torn about giving it to my mother, but I'm pretty sure I should.  I would want to know that my grand daughter doesn't want me to die.  There's a deep message of love right there.  Leave it to an eight year old to say what needs to be said to an eighty eight year old.  I think I want to tell her I understand that she's ready to die, but I don't want her to go.  

   I want to express my thankfulness for all the kindness that comes from this land of the Xangans.  The supportive friendships, encouraging words, warm hearted fun, and silly, teasing comments we make to each other are a blessing for the soul.  In my busy world, it has helped me as a writer and a person in many wondrous ways.  Thank you.

   I'm not sure about next week at all.  How I will handle all that is ahead is a mystery, but I am sure that my heart is willing to take what comes, no matter what happens.  My heart is willing.  (pats heart and points to all of you)

   The words "I am" are potent words; be careful what you hitch them to.  The thing you're claiming has a way of reaching back and claiming you. - A.L. Kitselman

   It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it anywhere else. - Agnes Repplier

   Looking back you realize that a very special person passed briefly through your life and that person was you. - Robert Brault.

   And remember, no matter where you go, there you are. - Confucius

   Find More Quotes.   You'll never know who you are until you take the journey. Seek out yourself - Jaynebug