"Did I ever tell you..."

That's where it begins in your 9o's.

Do I need to correct you and supply you with facts?

Should I change the subject since I've heard the subject 50 times before?

Compassion flows up from the bottom of my feet and finally my mouth works.

"What happened next?," I ask.

Imagine no relatives, you're 91 with bad eyesight, and living in your own home.  Everyone you know has told you that you could live somewhere safer and professionals will tell when it's time for what you need.  Imagine that you're "not going to leave my home."  The house you designed and had built. In a place where you've lived for 60 years.  Imagine that!

You've recently split your head open, and recovered.  You tell stories about how sick you were when you were a child.  You've had many parts removed and until now, you've been feeling pretty darn good.  Imagine that!

I tell you that you have the right to be unhappy about all these changes at 91.  As soon as I do your positive light, the one that has kept you in the game for so long goes on.

"Oh I've had it pretty good, you know.  Did I ever tell you..."

"What happened next?"

(pats heart, and points to aging)

I ran over here to keep from screaming everywhere else today.  Sick of people who are DRAINING me, and I can't get away from them as this world is such a needy people place and I'm out there among them.  Unhappy in relationships, but afraid of never finding SOMEONE to be with and share a life.  They say it's not important yet they're yearning, starving for something MORE meaningful.. TALK, TALK , TALKING about each other, and I remain the one who says I can't figure other people out, so please don't gossip about them to me.  Then I"M the one who they push to the outside, because I won't join in.  I AM the one they come calling or messaging or taking me to the side, because I"M the ONLY one who'll help them sort it all out. A sounding board.  I should have been a therapist. At least I'd been paid for it.

See? I'm toxic today.  I want to stay IN and I'm an OUTDOOR person.  I feel like a single bloom, alone, waiting for a fresh beginning.

MUST GET TO MEDITATION TODAY!

Thanks for listening. I'm done!