November 28, 2012
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Difficult People
Last night I was speaking to several people about a person I work with professionally who they all warned me was going to eventually "blow up in my face." I responded that I wasn't worried and they laughed at me, shook their heads and said the ever sarcastic words..."JUST WAIT."
I have worked with so many "difficult" people, but then...someone needs to be able to help them. Why not me? I have patience and I have confidence that it's them and not me who is having the problem. They may be more forceful or pushy in order to get their point across, but I don't have to play the game, right?
I have found over the years that difficult people are usually very smart and have something that caused them to think that their way was the only way. Maybe Mom or Dad had something to do with it. I try to be a bridge for them to get the job done without bloodshed :0, and I also give them some cheerful attention as we go. One thing I have noticed is that difficult people do not let many people into their lives in a close way. They are guarded, so I try to gently break down the barrier and let them see a opening.
I can teach old dogs new tricks without the old dog getting freaked out and me getting bitten.
Here's the secret. Don't attach to their anger, biting, pushy, stupid (did I say that?),bossy ways. Think beyond it and as my sweet 91 year old mom would say, "Try to imagine them on a tricyle as a small child. How would they ride?" It'll make you smile and they'll wonder what you know.
Do you work with difficult people? Shower them with smiles and remember you can't soar above them if you've let them ruffle your feathers.
Are you a difficult person? I charge by the hour. :)
Fly High!
Comments (25)
I can usually get along with most people heck I even get alonge with two of my ex's wives...I have had an instance here that I was warned and it did finally happen it came around to bite me in the butt and wow it was a mess but then I had to just look at histry for history sakes and chock it up to a learning adventure and yes I will most likely make the same mistakes again I never learn easily
Someone warned me not to get involved with a certain guy; he was funny but could be difficult at times. I ignored them and we have been together for over 12 years. And I agree, don't get your feathers ruffled, but try to understand where that person is coming from.
I work in public housing and most of the people I deal with are under duress already, they are tired and weary and almost always mad at someone. But like you said, I don't have to play their game, and in the end the most of them leave my office feeling better than when they came in...We're all in this game together and one step at a time we have to start respecting and loving each other. Great Post
I believe in treating them with respect at all times even if they don't respect me. When they blow up at me, I tend to walk away and return when they aren't mad anymore. But it can be difficult to not take it personally- after all they meant it to be personal, but I suspect that something else is going on with them...
You never know who pissed in their Wheaties that morning...
To late today . I will come back tomorrow .
Michel
Perfect timing with this! I worked with a difficult person yesterday. Hopefully next time I'm in that situation, I'll remember not to attach to their anger and not let them ruffle my feathers! I much prefer flying high!
Kill 'em with kindness I say!
I am usually a pretty easy going person but I am feeling difficult tonight. I just wish I knew the lowdown, lazy scumbag who earned my ire. Grr.
I work for Shewhomustnotbenamed - I know difficult! There's much truth in this post. I know that the ego must be fed. I know how to do that using a very long spoon... safer that way! hehehe!
I've definitely met some difficult people, but I am always nice to them, as I am with everyone.
Difficult people? Oh, dear ... there are many of THOSE kinds everywhere! LOL
Even in your family too! Yep ... just like you said ... Just smile, ignore and look at them stupid enough they will leave you. haha ...
I am always kind to people, and can get caught up with their anger. But now, I seem to be able to sit back and look at it objectively and ..... smile!
In all honesty, we all have a streak of difficult in us.
I have to say, my difficult genes raise their ugly head when I am out of remission. I try to keep a healthy buffer between me and the weak of heart. Like what Bricker says, you never know what a person is going through, so it's easier for me to have compassion and patience.
Thank you for being so gentle with the difficult spirit.
This is a good thing that you do. I have learned that when my hubbys dementia episodes become verbal it is not me he is reacting too but his feat itself.
You do good stuff sweet lady. Pats heart and points to you.
@SisterMae - Isn't that the truth. Lessons available each new day.
@crankycaregiver - I think we can be a bridge for each other. Difficult people in work situations can make many miserable. My goal when I come in contact is the switch up the situation and quietly show them a light to a new path of work relationships. Detached attachment.
@mlbncsga - I knew you were a kinderd spirit. Hugs!
@jerjonji - I recently walked away from a situation where the conversation turned into a highschool drama thing. I'm 53 years old. Before I walked away I stated that the level that the conversation was going wasn't going to get us anywhere. Next time we spoke she had a different attitude and now treats me with a more mature approach. It's an opening and I find if I don't look backward, we continue to move forward.
@Bricker59 - Sometimes I do know who pissed in their Wheaties...well maybe not exactly who, but I know there was some pissing going on. It's a curse and a gift. :)
@songoftheheart - Keep the faith! Being the bridge will change things up in great ways,
@ZSA_MD -Me too. They say it only takes a few muscles to smile and so many more to frown. I figure it takes less effort to be kind to someone who is apparently having a difficult life than to fuel their fire.
@saintvi - Are you a difficult one today? If it passes and it's just your personal experience that doesn't make you difficult. That's a bad day. Hope this one is bringing you smiles. I got a day off before I head north and it's lightly raining. I'm loving it!
@murisopsis - At least you use the spoon.
@Shining_Garnet - I figure lowering myself to anger is work place is bad energy for all. Nope. Not doin' it.
@SherryAngeLMysteriez - I have many difficult people in my family. They have taught me how to work with the ones at work. As far a stupid goes, I was just laughing with a friend the other day as I gave her my example of the sideways look I use sometimes when they say stupid remarks. I sort of tilt my head and squint at them like I'm trying to figure out what planet they're from before I respond. It's goofy enough it makes some of them laugh too.
@angys_coco - It gets easier, right? That's what I've found too. There's a lot to be said for experience. Life is a fine learn as you go and improve as we learn.
@WildWomanOfTheWest - The frustration from pain and health issues is a different game all together, but I hear you. Love is my only answer to a unhappy world. Work takes up most of my time these days, so I'm dedicated to making it a fine experience. Kindness is an opening. I practice it on myself more and then watch it grow. Hugs to YOU!
@Grannys_Place - My mom has dementia. I'm going to see her tomoroow and will hold her hand and let the rest unfold. Hugs to you, Ruth!
@Jaynebug -
Gah you're awesome. :)
I try not to be a difficult person. Sometimes it takes effort. I love your approach and your advice. I'll have to keep that trike thing in mind. In fact, I could use this advice right now, right here on xanga. So thanks, again. ;)
@distractedbyzombies - Hugs to you, Bear!
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