It hovered over me for the longest time.  At first I was captivated by sharing a moment with a hummingbird, then my brain fired up and I remembered that I had my camera.  I usually miss shots like this because they happen, I'm frozen to the spot, then they're over and I miss the train so to speak.  I slowly pulled my camera out and was thrilled that he was still there. I was pretty sure that time had stopped. That we were floating in some ethereal space. I shot the photo and then heard the couple coming up from behind me.  They had apparently stopped when they saw the hummer above me.  "That was so cool", the young man said to his female companion and I.

   As we began to speak, the hummer darted past my head then out to the ice plant, right beyond the boardwalk we were standing on.  It landed right next to one of the flowers.  I held up my camera, put my fingers to my lips, and started taking pictures. "What is it doing?," the girl asked her friend.  "It's posing for her," he stated as matter of fact. "She must have been late for the photo shoot." He was gesturing toward me.  I gave him a toothy smile.

   I think it needed a rest after hovering so long.  Don't we all?  Isn't it beautiful?  Looks like a Anna or a Ruby Throated old wise one. The old ones are all showing up for me. I've written and photographed Old Jay, Old Guy Hawk, and now Ye Ole Hummer.  I like to think we've shared the space in this area for many years.  They have the air, and I have the ground.  We meet in the middle of nature and rest. 

   "Does he mean what it says on that sign?"

   "Does who mean what they said on which sign?," I said.

   "That guy with the guitar and the sign," Miss A was looking toward the door of the gas/quick market.  I followed her gaze.  There was a man with a sign that stated;  I'm Looking for a Miracle.

   "Well, I think he would have used another word if he didn't mean it.  Miracles can come in many forms and there are lots of ideas of what a miracle actually is, so I would guess he means it."  Miss A and her friend watched him with curiosity. 

   "Maybe we can help his miracle get started," I said.  I opened my change purse and emptied out the contents into my hand. 

   "Are you going to give him money, Mom?,"  Miss A inquired.

   "I'm going to give him my change, so he can buy a little something as he waits for his miracle, honey.  We can all use a helping hand some times, and I think 's important to help folks in our own community as well as our world community," I explained. 

   "Like Haiti and Katrina?, her sweet voice chimed in. 

   "Yes, but this guy is possibly having a personal storm in his life.  Maybe things aren't working out for him right now.  I don't have much to spare, but I believe if we want to make this world, this community a better place, we can respond to someone when they're are reaching out even if it's just to wish him well and offer a little something."  I walked over to pay for my gas and my eyes met his eyes and I smiled. He smiled in return. I handed him the change, probably about two dollars, and said to him, "Hope this gets your miracle started."  He thanked me very politely and told me to have a blessed day.  "You too," I said.

   When I returned to the car and started the gas pumping, I noticed that Miss A and her buddy were in the back of the vehicle, so I opened the hatch and they were holding an orange and some peanuts that I had packed for our hike on the dunes.  "Are you hungry already?," I asked.

   "No.  Could you give this to that man too.  Maybe it will help while he's waiting for his miracle." 

   "Sure can," I said.  "That's your snack for the beach, but if you want to share it, I'll deliver it for you."  I took it to the guy and he gladly accepted it and thanked me again.  I walked back to the car, got the kids back in their seats and drove away.  As I drove out of the gas mart, a car honked his horn and I ignored it.  I proceed to drive and another car honked.  This time I looked and the kids said, "Why did they honk at us?"  I told them I had no idea, but I hadn't done anything wrong in driving, so they must be honking at someone they know.  Now another car comes up, horn blaring, and the woman is pointing at my car.  I pulled over immediately, thinking I'd left the gas tank open.  As I got out of the car, I see the whole gas pump handle and line attached to my car.  My mind went blank for a moment, then total shock and horror hit me, as I visualized the gas mart loosing gas from where I just removed the pump.  My heart was in my throat, but I had kids in the car and I put the pump in the back of the car and got back in.

   "Are you in trouble, Mom?," Miss A asked in a rather excited voice.

   "I think yes," I replied with a shaking voice.  I took a deep breath and in my head I said, "I sure could use a bit of that miracle now."  I turned the car back around and headed toward the gas mart.  In the calmest voice I own, I told the kids that our plans might be changed.  I apologized to them and kept breathing.  I pictured myself being locked up and the key thrown away as well as my husband divorcing me for lack of a brain.  As I turned into the gas mart driveway, I was relieved to see that the gas wasn't flowing out of the machine that I ripped the pump out of, but the attendant was standing there with her arms in a out reaching questioning "what the heck" sort of pose.  I lowered my window and she asked what I did with the pump handle.  I'm thinking, "Why is she not yelling at me, or calling the police?"  She just wanted to know where the handle is?  I got out apologizing, and got the pump out of the car.  She took it from me and we walked back over to the unit where she tried to snap it back in.  She told me she'd have to get one the the strong guys to put it back in later.  All of a sudden I realize that it's a pull free type set up in case distracted customers like me drive away with the pump.  W H E W!  Now, the guy with the guitar hold up his "I'm looking for a miracle" sign and points to me.  I started laughing and breathing better. 

   "Have a blessed day," he said. 

   "I'm already experiencing just that, my friend." 

   I had just walked through the door and he greeted me then ran away leaving a laugh floating in the air. As I moved into the living room, he came toward me with a huge smile on his face.  I sat down so I could speak to him at eye level, and we started talking like we'd known each other forever.

   "Look!"

   "What have you got there?"

   "Bugs."  He held up the package and gave me a quick glimpse then hugged it to his chest.

   "Bugs?"

   "Glowing bugs,"  he stated with authority.

   "Let me see those again. A bit slower please,"  I requested.

   He laughed and flashed them at me again, then rethinking it, he flash them in slow motion.

   "Bugs that glow? How cool is that?,"  I asked.

   He was nodding his head in agreement now.  "You eat them," he said with pride in his voice.

   "Are you telling me that you have a bag of bugs that glow and you can eat them too?"

   His head nodded faster.  "I want to eat them," he said excitedly. 

    I brought my hand to my mouth in shock, rolled my body from the waist up like I was getting weak, and looked a little woozy.  He started giggling at that. Those twinkling eyes met mine and I was filled with a total sense of joy. I could feel it in every fiber of my being.  Kids do that to me.  They are so pure in their energy. 

   "You eat bugs too?," he inquired with interest.

   Now I just met this child and his father.  They were the son and grandson of my friends who had invited me to lunch so I could meet them.  I looked at the boy's dad who was waiting for my answer with a curious look on his face. 

   "Well let's see.  My sister use to make mud pies with sugar on top and I tried those.  They might have had a bug or two in them, but I can't be sure."  The boy had a look of awe and respect in his eyes and the dad made eye contact with his mother with a "where did you find this lady" look in his eyes.  "You're lucky that they make glow bugs and put them in a package without the mud," I added.  He smiled real big and nodded in agreement.  His dad looked slightly relieved.  Dad only wanted him to have one, but I missed the picture a few times as he got the bug before I snapped the shot. Poor kid had to eat five.  He gave me a huge smile like it was our private joke. I know, I'm a sucker for a sweet kid.  Especially one with bugs that glow.

  I must admit that I find it amusing that you can buy bugs that glow to give to your children to eat. Heck, why not let them out in the garden to find their own.  The ones in the garden are probably healthier.    Just saying.

   The waves kept crashing against the side of the boat.  They were getting larger and more powerful with each new set.  I could hear a echoing whisper in my ear.  "This will pass.  You're almost through the worst of it.  Don't give up."  As I opened my eyes, I could feel my heart beating against my chest and I gasped for air.  The bedroom was dark, blurry and unfamiliar.  I blinked my eyes and tried to focus on something, anything, to pull my mind up and out of that fear gripping space I had just left back in my dream. My skin was cold to the touch, and as I wrapped myself deeper into my covers, I took long, deep breaths to return my thoughts to the present.  As my eyes darted back and forth across the room, I could see a shaft of light coming through the curtain.  No time to analyze the dream, there were children to feed and get to school.  Besides, I knew why the waves had been crashing through my dreams.  I've let the waters of my emotions get stuck in my head.  My dream arrived to save me from drowning or maybe to remind me to keep my head up.  This was all I needed to know for now. 

   I could hear the crashing, whooshing sound from the ocean as I parked to take a walk. On the pier, I could feel the movement as I walked out to the end.  I suppose it could be scary or frightening to some, but I felt comforted by the rocking motion.  Pushing in and pulling out. January is our big wave and record low, low tide time of year. Twenty five foot waves is what were predicted by our friendly weather man, but I knew from sight that wasn't the case.  For one thing, we wouldn't be allowed out on the pier for the obvious safety reasons.  I think the pier is about 20-25 feet above the water depending on whether the tide is in or out.  I'm sure you'd agree on a good mood day, that losing a local or a tourist to a big wave just isn't good for pier public relations.  The waves crashing against the pier had a 15-16 foot face of green water.  That was powerful enough for me.

   Standing on the pier, my dream came rushing back to my thoughts.  I found myself amazed that waves were crashing under my feet and I had not a shred of fear in my mind, yet only a few hours ago, waves just like this were threatening my safety.  I stood there with the wonder of how our minds work things out without our planning.  I much prefer the calmer waters, but who wants to push through those?  In fact, I tend to linger in calm waters, lifting the healing moisture to pour down my shoulders, releasing and letting go.  Oh yes.  I prefer those more often than not.  The wild water however, offers an opening too.  A powerful display to remind me that I have control over what can overwhelm me.  It's my choice. The echoed whisper was my clue.  That's all I need to know for now.

   It's a special mixture.  A little logic and a tad of crazy.  An hand full of emotion and a dropper of discernment.  Slowly add a dram of spicy elixir and a cup of perspective.  Let set for introspection, then carefully stir in a spiritual connection until it glows with humanity.  Blend all ingredients with a individual view to share.  Throw in a large dose of heart and soul for balance.  Fold in inspiration and creativity.  Experience should be added as necessary to enlighten.  Top with a sense of humor. 

   The tip to this recipe is to blend your own.  Usually turns out better that way.  I serve mine up daily.  What's your blend? 

    I'm not sure if there's a instant potion for the overwhelming blues that can spread across an entire being.  This guy found himself caught up in total blueness.  I honestly believe he was ready for the cure.  At least he was willing to try it.

   How about the day that I was up to my eye balls on deadline and I hadn't gone outside all day.  The phone rang and it snapped me out of the "head down to work with blinders on" frame of mind.  The friend called to tell me that another friend had passed away.  My emotions were building as I hung up the phone.  I couldn't think anymore.  I couldn't breathe very well.  I stood up and made my way to the door to get some air.  I stepped outside with tears streaming down my face and as I looked up, the sky blue day lifted me up and out of my emotional strain. I felt an instant calming as I focused on the wisp of the moon that the sky was holding in the middle of all that blue.

   Miss A wasn't quite sure about this ride.  I asked her if she wanted to fly and she said she wasn't sure if she would be scared.  I told her I understood completely and she didn't have to get on the ride if she wasn't ready for the experience.  She took a deep breath then tugged at my arm.  "I'm ready Mom."  She chose a fierce flyer, but the look in her eyes as she covered her mouth told me she was working it out as she went.

   The weekly photo challenge,  Emotional Blues was suggested by:  living_embers.

   Years ago I read a book, (can't remember the name of it for the life of me), that talked about how you could see energy coming off your hands if you looked at them with blurred vision.  The process was to squint your eyes a bit, then look above the tips of your fingers.  Practicing with trees first was recommended as they are a whole lot bigger than fingers.  I thought the whole idea was great as I have always seen energy coming off plants and people.  I have had blurred vision for most of my life. Poor eyesight. Maybe that helped. 

   It's become apparent to me as my plate full of life has new, unexperienced territory, I think of it in blurry terms.  I find myself trusting that even though things may not make complete sense at the time, getting through the uncertainty of a situation leaves me smarter, and seeing a clearer picture at the end.  I also know that being willing makes all the difference in the world. 

   In the past, I have found myself holding back from doing something because I just couldn't see through the fog of fear in my mind.  I would, "What if" and "I Can't" myself to the point that would stop the process I needed to complete in order to get to the next step.  I didn't like the unknown aspect.  I wanted a sure thing.  I wanted to know how it ended.  I wanted to be successful without the blurry struggle of the learning curve.  What I know now, is that the foggy unknown has been my greatest teacher.  I can trust that the energy to be successful is there. It always was there, waiting for me to figure it out. Now, I trust in my plans, adjust to the unknowns that pop up (they will pop up, you know), and let the experience guide and clear the way.  Makes me look forward to new challenges when I look at life with these eyes. 

   Once again, willing wins.

   Come on.  Step into my space and let's move out to the beach.  Oh! Here's a place we can sit for a while.  Deep breaths are always welcome here.  Today on my beach, it was 74 degrees, so even as the sun starts to make it's way down, the weather is F I N E. 

   Grab a refreshment as you make your way through.  I've left a virtual cooler with anything you desire for food or beverage.  Ah yes!  Isn't this great?

  I'd like to make a toast.  The past two years on Xanga has been a gift to my soul.  The kindness, the support, and  the incredible "plateful" of laughs have been an awakening for me.  I can't express, (and you know that's a first), just how much having this space to write in has changed my world.  My friend, (he knows who he is) told me one night to start blogging.  The next time I saw him he was laughing and saying "You are blogging, Woman!"  Now when he sees me, he makes references to my posts like a proud father.  I love him for that. (winks to V.)

   I have dabbled and sputtered and painted long pictures with words, and you folks keep coming back.  As we say in my circle, "That means the world to me."  You share what the story invoked in you, and we connect the dots of our individual thoughts into a space of higher thinking in many cases.  We travel through our emotions that connect us to the memories that offer us new outlooks.  Did you know that's what happens when we get together?  I thank each and every one of you (you too) for your participation in this journey.  What a fantastic ride it has been.  Onward!  Here's to a whole new year to fill up with more and more.  All we have to do is, "Click in!"

  (Pats heart and points to you and you over there in the hat, and you too, and hey, when did you get here?, and ah, you came over too?)  I better get a few more chairs.

  I sat on the steps at a friend's house the other day with my daughter, Miss A.  We were halfway down the stairs, and sitting there, we hugged each other and whispered in each others ears and giggled and sang a few songs.  We'd go get snacks to share and return to our spot.  There was a party going on and lots of activity in the house.  From our vantage point we could see many things.  I pointed it out to Miss A and she liked that she got a bigger picture from her view on the stairs.  As people would come up or down, they'd stop and visit with us.  They'd look at what we could see from there, and make a comment about our view.  The interesting thing was that each person stopping to share with us, noticed something from where we were sitting on the stairs.  We'd be talking and they'd be looking around as they spoke, and all of a sudden they'd say something like, "Oh. Look at that painting over there in the corner. I never noticed it until right now and I've been here many times." Or. "Look at that! You can see the moon from out that window when you're sitting here."  And more like that. 

  Miss A and I would look at each other and smile or wink. We agreed that it was a fine spot indeed.