February 8, 2013
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When Fear Takes Center Stage
Step right up, folks! Get your fear resistant wand! One wave of the wand over a fearful situation and the fear will vanish!
"I'm afraid it won't work. Can you guarantee it?"
"Do I get my money back if my fear doesn't vanish instantly?"
"I'm too busy holding on to my fears. No hands to hold the wand! Do you have a pill I can swallow instead?"
"Does it work on man eating monsters/bosses?"
All good questions! Thanks for asking.
When I was a young girl I could be scared easily. I had a huge imagination and a sister who could jump out at any moment from the back of our closet from our shared bedroom. She could do this time after time and still scare me. I learned how to payback from the same closet, but she was much better at it. (yes, Bear..good times) I was the youngest of a big family and my sisters left home one by one. I was afraid they'd never come back the same. They didn't. They grew up. I think I was also afraid to grow up myself. It was going to change everything.
I suppose fear and change spend a lot of time together.
"Hey Fear! We always end up in the same place."
"Oh, hey Change! How's it goin'?"
"I'm still working the peeps, keeping them on their toes, Change. How about you?"
"Me too, Fear. Business is good! Last week was a record breaker with weather, politics, and the flu."
"I hear ya, Change. That virus going around had people right where I wanted them. SCARED!"
And on and on it goes.
A few weeks ago, I was conducting a PTO (Parent Teacher Organization) meeting and many parents were there to express their fears regarding the Sandy Hook shootings. As I listened to these fine people, I could tell that fear and change were at work and I completely understood the grip it had on them. I remember holding my baby in my arms on the morning of 9/11 and thinking where do we hide from all this terror? Over the course of discussion about how the school district was going to handle "crazy people" who could get on campus, the Principal reassured them that new safety procedures had been put in place. This didn't ease their minds. How could it? They wanted guarantees that we couldn't give. One of the parents was visible frightened and I noticed that she was biting her nails and looking wide eyed. She's a fantastic young woman, but this had hit her hard and I knew she felt helpless. How do I help her find strength in herself, I asked myself.
I then shared that no matter what precautions we put into place, it was important that each of us find a feeling of empowerment in ourselves and if that meant that any parent wanted to hang around at the school, in the classroom, on the playground that they should do it so that they could get a better "feel" of the school. "Look people in the eye as you pass by, say good morning to that stranger you don't know here, so you can get a finger on the pulse of the school." If someone is acting strange, check in at the office and ask questions. I also shared that since my children were very young, my husband, The King and I have told them that we were always in their hearts, and that no matter what happens, they can make it through any situation. Then when fearful things occur, your child might be the one who steps forward to calm another. I watched the eyes of these people I was speaking to and they did soften a bit. I think they took back their role of continuing to be a good parent. Maybe a few of them assumed the responsibility at that moment. We are not powerless unless we decide we are in a given situation.
We all have a role to play with fear. The years have taught me that I have no control over many things, but I do have me, myself and I who has decided that fear will not run my day. I am very aware of my surroundings and will even have conversations with folks that I'm not sure of their intentions in order to assess a situation just to calm myself. One of my favorite quotes is "What would you do if you weren't afraid? Do that!" It has pushed me to walk through my fears and changes with a more calming attitude.
I woke up this morning not feeling a bit afraid, yet this is what called to me to write about. Must be someone out there who needed to hear it.
(pats heart, and points to you)
We have...
Don't put fear in charge of it.
Comments (23)
A timely and excellent write. I'm glad you followed your muse. :)
The best guarantee against the dangers of life is death. Fear can be so powerful that some people will even choose that. It is important to have security in ourselves when it is ultimately all we can control.
@distractedbyzombies - Right Oh!, Bear ( my sister's name is Bear too). When we empower ourselves we become a stronger force. Stay warm, Bear..Oh yeah.. you have fur, you're fine
So true. We feel fear at various times and for various reasons. You point out that fear can spur us to action. That's a good point. It's also good to have strong determinations toward reaching goals far off on the horizon. Strong determinations with the spirit to never give up can keep us focused ahead and on the path. One of my favorite quotes is "One man conquers a thousand times a thousand on the battlefield. Another man conquers himself. Consider the later to be nobler."
@TheSutraDude - Noble indeed! I suppose I have conquered myself these days. Can I have a crown?
@Jaynebug - If there's any truth to the science of chakras, you have one already.
@TheSutraDude - I believe!
Over the last couple of days, with a rampaging ex-cop on the loose (it will be a little scary until we know he's no longer in control), I've remembered 9/11 and its lessons -- fear can be devastating if one allows it, or it can be a motivator to be conquered. I love this post and its message, Lyne!
A positive attitude is the only thing that helps. One has to know where the fear lies and the reasons behind the closed veil - one must knows how to find their courage to fight and one might know where to lay rest their mind & heart. You will be okay then.
@slmret -Hi Janet! I read about him. The unknown can allow us to feel powerless. Holding on to our inner strength can save us.
@SherryAngeLMysteriez - Thanks "SAM"! I have come a long way with time and experience as the driver.
I like your message. I wish there were more people in the world who thought about things instead of having a knee jerk reaction. Fear can make us twitchy, and can make us take an action that we might regret.
"Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you
want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get
busy."~ Dale Carnegie
@Jaynebug - yes, I am rather fluffy.
@whyzat - Thank you. My knees hate it when I jerk in a fearful way. Better to breathe deep and make a differnet choice.
@Iamsurrounded -
anxiety can be overwhelming but with practice people can do better than cope
@Hunt4Truth - We can look inside ourselves more and find a better person everyday when willing.
Did I really do that??? Amazing how time can erode memories.
There is nothing to fear but fear itself is what comes to my mind......if we allow fear to gather companions, it can overwhelm us. Your lesson of taking 4 deep breaths and asking the question "is this true?" has served me well over the years. Thanks! I love you the mostest!!!!
@Jaynebug - This is a great blog. Honestly, people need to stop buying into the hysteria of needing so many guns. If people, especially teachers, principals, employers, law enforcement, etc. spent more time profiling and learning more about people, who have give off very alarming vibes, they could do a great service to everybody's lives.That doesn't mean automatically giving that 1 particular person, negative labels. However, they should try making themselves more familiar to that other person by establishing some type of a relationship. If the person seems to be experiencing a hard time, they should try helping rather than ignoring. Ignoring is partly why so many of these murderers start acting out because they're constantly being ignored and discarded.
of course there are people who benefit from reading about this.
The sharing of your wisdom is invaluable. When do you feel fear? I am just amazed at the sense of security and love you provide on this blog. Thank you. :)
@clayrek - Did I say that?
Love you, Bear.
@RealistMe - The more we invest in our own awareness the more we teach it, as there's nothing more powerful than a good example of living.
@papertruth - Thank you. Fear has taught me its game over the years. I hope this space I write on shares much love and support. That's why I write for me. I'm my own best cheerleader. :)
Comments are closed.